Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Sun Apr 03, 2005 at 07:39:38 pm EDT
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Part 4 of the STL/FMRC Saga!
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In Mid-town Goth Haven, it was an average Tuesday morning until it wasn't. DJ Disaster & his crew have come to town!

"Alright, you punk asses! I'm DJ Disaster & this in my crew, The Vanpires!" Said the white man clearly trying to be black. He motioned to a group of people standing behind him, some waved. They, like DJ Disaster, were dressed in fanciful costumes.

DJ Disaster said this over the airwaves of Goth Haven's only morning news show, Goth Haven Today. He was standing on the steps in front of the Museum of Unnatural History (The Natural History Museum is across town). A Goth Haven Today film crew was on location filming a piece about the new exhibit about Breast Implants. Then, DJ D (As him sometimes calls himself) over powered the reporter & started his rant.

"I'm here to take back the streets for the common man!" He said & raised his fist above his head in the stereotypical 1970's fashion. A few of the Vanpires rolled their eyes.

"I'm calling out this city's group of posers, the Wonderful Seven. I ain't afraid of you! Come & get me, Suckas!" DJ D said then threw down the microphone & walked away. The Vanpires followed shortly there after.

The Reporter then picks up the microphone, looks into the camera lens (He now has a black eye) & says "Well, there you have. A New villain calling himself DJ Disaster has called out the Wonderful Seven. Will they Respond, I don't know? Back to you in the studio, Janis!"
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"Now, Class. What would you do now?" Matthew Summers said as he paused the tape. He was standing in the New Recruit Training Room on the 10th floor of the Federal Meta-Human Resource Center building. Setting before him was his students, the newest batch of recruits to the FMRC.

There was silence.

"Well? A super villain has challenged you over the public airwaves. What should you do next?"

More silence.

"Now, if you actually did your homework, you would know the answer!"

After Mr. Summers said this, it caused most of the students (The one's who brought their handbooks) to start searching for the answer. The sounds of flipping pages could be heard. Then, a hand shot up. It started to wiggle back & forth a bit. The person obviously had the answer. Mr. Summers didn't care, he called on someone else.

"Ben!" Mr. Summers said, this caused Ben Hermes AKA Semi-Transparent Lad to stop doodling & to look up at the teacher.

"Yes?" Ben said, a little afraid.

"Your from Goth Haven, right?"

"Yeah." he said hesitantly, fearing each answer would bring up another question.

"So, you have seen the Wonderful Seven action before, right?"

"Yeah." Ben said & then thought "On & off the the field."

"So, what do you think they would do after they were 'called out' by a villain?"

'Well..." Ben said & his voice trailed off. He thought about for awhile. Then said. "Given that the Wonderful Seven are a team ruled over by Corporate Greed they would think what's in it for them first. Then, the pro's & con's of what to do would come up. Then, if the plan of action was that they want to is one of fighting. They would go out get a TV news film crew, the Police & a couple newspapers reporters to follow them to the Villain's hideout, maybe an abandoned warehouse near the water front. They'd go in, have a fight. Afterwards, then answer questions, sign autographs, etc. as the police wheel off the villains."

"Uh... No." Mr. Summers said, then laughed a bit. "That's a good answer but not the one I was going for."

He then calls on the person who originally want to answer the question answer it. She still had her hand up. "Yes." Mr. Summers said & pointed to the girl with the frizzy brown hair.

"The proper way to respond is to find where the villain is hiding, Go there & turn them into the police. If fighting is necessary then do so." She said.

"Yes, that is the right answer. So, let's see what the Wonder Seven did!" Mr. Summers said & played the rest of the tape.

There was a few second of Janis, the news anchor of Goth Haven Today, then the tape changed to a report from the Goth Haven 6 O'Clock News & it showed the Wonderful Seven as they went to an abandoned warehouse near the water front. The TV News film crew, a couple newspaper reporters & the Police showed up shortly there after. The Wonderful Seven went in, a fight ensued. The Seven went back out & answered questions, signed autographs as the Police hauled off DJ Disaster & his group in the background.

Mr. Summers stopped the tape, again & said. "Well, I guess Mr. Hermes was correct. This just goes to show you that not all Heroes go by the book. Sometimes they just go by their own sets of rules, much like the Wonderful Seven as we have seen here & the Lair Legion are also a good example of this."

Before Ben went back to his doodling, he looked over at the girl who gave the "right" answer, she shot him a glance that made it look like she wanted to kill him. Ben has found out that over the last couple of meetings, he hasn't made a lot of friends.

The class went on for a while then Mr. Summers called a break time. This meeting was one of the more longer one's they had (They had been there for 2 hours & it still wasn't over). So, most of the students got up to go to the bathroom. Some went out on to a balcony near by for a smoke. Some just went over the Buffet table in the hallway for punch & cookies. Ben got up & stretched, then sat back down. He doesn't smoke (can't stand the smell) & doesn't have to pee. So, he just continues to doodle.

Then, a Male, looked to be 95% brawn & 5% brains, walks into the room. He walks over to Ben & picks up his drawing. "What's This?" The No-Neck Brawny Male asked.

"Hey, give that back!" Ben said as he stood up & tried to get it back.

"No, I don't want to." He said & pushed Ben back into his seat.

The Brawny Bully looks at the drawing. They were just scribbles, not really anything. But, he's bigger then Ben so he continues to bully him around. Ben wants his doodles back, so he does the first thing that goes to his mind. He kicks the bully in the crotch. This does nothing, the Bully doesn't even wince. Then, starts to laugh. Ben starts looking around for a weapon. There behind him is a tray of Muffins. Ben can make it over to the tray & maybe use it as a weapon. The Bully continues laugh & is now not paying attention to Ben. So, Ben wheels him self & his chair over to the Muffin tray.

He picks up the tray & says. "Hey!"

This gets the attention of the Bully. "What?"

"Are you getting enough iron in your diet?" Ben asks as he swings the clearly silver tray at the Bully. Ben hits him in the head, knocking the Bully out.

As the bully hit the ground they changed. The Bully wasn't who they appeared to be. "It's that girl from before. She must have used some magic spell. No wonder the kick to the groin didn't do anything!" Ben thought as he dropped the now dented tray. He picks up his drawing, wheels his chair back to his spot at the table & return to doodling.

A few minutes later, the rest of the class came in along with Mr. Summers. As they came in they saw the girl sprawled out on the floor.

"What happened here?" Mr. Summers asked.

Since most of the people weren't here to see it, so no one answered. Ben could have answered but didn't feel like it.

"Come on! She just didn't get a bruise like that alone." Mr. Summers said, then found the tray.

"All right! We now have a weapons, so we are going to sit here until someone tells me what happened." Mr. Summers said as he took the dented tray back to his seat. He sat down & looked around at everyone.

A few minutes went by & no one said anything. Then, Ben raised his hand.

"Yes, Ben."

"I hit her." He said.

"What?"

"Yes. She used some magic spell to look like someone else & she was bullying me around. So, I took action!"

"You hit were with a tray?"

"Yes. But that was my last resort."

"Hmm." Mr. Summers said as he thought this over. "Well, class. I know Ben did something wrong but we can learn from what he did. Can anyone tell me what it is?" He said.

No one said anything & some groaning could be heard coming from the girl.

"He used what around him. I assumed he tried to resolve it peacefully." Mr. Summers said & looked at Ben & he shook his head yes. "Then, he probably tried a few different methods to resolve the problem, one method was to use his surroundings." Mr. Summers said, then said "Ben?"

"Yes, Mr. Summers?"

"Could you clean up the muffins?"

"Sure." Ben said & then went to go clean up the muffins. He took one for himself, it was blueberry.

"Ok, Class. Let's get back to work!" Mr. Summers said.

The Class went through a few more situations using news footage. The Magic Girl woke up during this. The situations went on for another hour & then, Mr. Summers said. "Ok. I think that's good for today. Next time, we are going to split up into small groups. Any questions?"

There was one. "Why do we only meet once a month?"

Mr. Summers was wondering when that question would come up. He explained that all the new FMRC recruit were divided into large groups, each group comes in on a tuesday. There are 4 groups. He then asked if that answered the person's question, it did. So, Mr. Summers said that they were done for today. So, the students left. Ben made sure he leave before the Magic Girl. There was elevator & he didn't want to be caught in it with her.
------------

Ben got back to his apartment an hour & a half later. He does need to find a better way to get around then on the bus. Ben gets to his floor & standing the hallway were four tall, black men. They were all wear dark business suits. A few turn to look at him when Ben he started to walk down the hallway. The one's that looked then turned back, Ben guessed that they weren't looking for him. One reason he thinks that is because they are facing his neighbor's door. They knocked & a short while later Laura answered the door, which Ben thought was slight strange her. She normally just uses her power to phase through the door. This was also the first time Ben could see into her apartment. It's looks way better then his apartment, almost upper class looking. No wonder why she doesn't open the door all that offen, she doesn't want people stealing her stuff.

"Miss Smith?" One of the Black men says. Ben assumes he's the leader, he speaks with an accent that Ben thinks sounds vaguely African.

"Yes?" Laura says.

The Lead black guy then looks over to Ben. "Is there something we can help you with?" He said pointedly.

"It's ok, Ben." Laura said.

"Uh, no." Ben said. Then, getting the point & goes into his apartment. Once Ben is in, he wonders what that was all about.

THE END!
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Next Time: We find out why four black men wanted to talk to Laura.
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FOOTNOTES:

Here's Something about Laura: She is an aspiring actress (In an earlier STL story, she audistioned for a part in a made for TV Movie about Ham-Boy). She has the power to become intangible. According to her about how she got her power is that her father is/was a scientist & during an experiment, he gave his daughter the power to become intangible. If it was an accident is unknown, she hasn't said. She also claims that her father works or has worked some Foreign Government. Laura moved to Goth Haven to pursue her first love, Acting.

Ben knows a lot more about the Wonderful Seven then the average person because his brother, John, is the leader of the Wonderful Seven & calls himself Jet Starscream. John also doesn't know that Ben has a super power or that he has embarked on a career as a super hero.

DJ Disaster & his group, The Vanpires, may show up again in later stories.

"Magic Girl" from the FMRC scene: Her name is Dreama Garner. Her powers stem from a magical source. She'll show up again, I have plans for her!


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